No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
