I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
