I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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