You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
