Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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