her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
