I think I won the penis lottery.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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