my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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