Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A+ Viking dick
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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