Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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