this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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