Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize