Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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