So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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