Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
