he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
