i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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