who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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