things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
