I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
