help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
