Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
