It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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