it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
