Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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