I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
