I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
