I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
