There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
