if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
