I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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