# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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