i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
