I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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