I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
