Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I need moral support for this bender
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
