you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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