The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
