4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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