THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
