i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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