I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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