i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
