Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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