apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
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