He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
