How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
