Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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