Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
