i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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