singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
