I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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