Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
