Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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